I’m Back! (well, sort of…)

I have been experiencing “technical difficulties” so I have been unable to blog lately. Technology is wonderful….when it works. 🙂 But I’m up and running now and I promise a new post this week.

Kids Are Resilient….

Ok, I’m going to vent a little. Through all of the turmoil of the past several months, I keep hearing that old cliche, “Kids are resilient.” I’ve heard it from everyone. I’ve heard it from well meaning friends and family who are trying to encourage me and remind me that even though my family is struggling right now, we will come through this stronger and more unified. I appreciate the encouragement and advice; without it, I’d probably be a basket case by now.
But I’ve also heard it from The Ex as an excuse to put the children through turmoil in order to get what he wants. “Oh, you mean the children aren’t adjusting well, hmmm…well, kids are resilient. They’ll be fine.” This mind set is maddening to me.
Yes. Children ARE resilient. But that doesn’t mean we should try to bend them until they break. As resilient as children are, they have their breaking point and it’s not responsible parenting for us to test what that breaking point is.
Of course, as parents we need to provide our children with the tools they need to adjust to the unexpected curve balls that life often throws us. We bear the responsibility of teaching them to cope, teaching them to hold their head high and say “I won’t let this break me”. But we also bear the responsibility of protecting and nurturing them. We must help them face their battles and instill in them a fighting nature that allows them to overcome their obstacles. But that doesn’t mean we intentionally throw them into the fire and watch them burn, all the while saying, “Kids are resilient”
If we want our children to grow and have healthy relationships, we must foster healthy relationships with them ourselves. If a child grows us thinking, “I can’t trust my parents”, how will they ever trust anyone else enough to have a healthy relationship? It is our job as parents to do the very best we can to teach our children how to trust. And how to forgive.
When we mess up, and we will because we’re human, we must be mature enough to admit our mistakes and ask their forgiveness. But too often, we let our pride get in the way. We don’t want our children to think of us as anything less than super heroes. So rather than admit our shortcomings and ask their forgiveness, we hide behind that old cliche, “Kids are resilient”.
Yes. They are resilient. But let’s not allow that healthy resilience to turn into unhealthy callousness.

I Shall Return…or rather…I Have Returned

So I haven’t posted in awhile. There’s been so much happening, and so much of it has been negative, that I decided not to post anything. While part of me needs to write as a way to vent when I’m upset, a bigger part of me doesn’t want this blog to be a negative b*tch session about the trials in my life. I’d much rather focus on the positive. In the midst of all the turmoil of the last week or so, there have been some pretty amazing moments too. But every time I sat down to write, I found myself wanting to vent. Until today…..
This afternoon, LP and I were watching football with a couple of friends and they directed us to “Sh*t My Dad Says”. This guy has a 74 year old dad who has a special proclivity for being, well, blunt. LP tends to be the same way. He refers to himself as an “equal opportunity offender”. That’s a pretty good definition.
So this guy started a Twitter account of some of his dad’s special gems. That has spiraled, and he’s now writing a book. I find it hilarious, but if you’re squeamish about cursing or if you’re easily offended, you may want to steer clear. (I do have a point here and I promise I’m getting to it)
So I was scrolling through this guy’s Twitter feed and I find this:
“Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog sh*t”.
Blunt? Yes. Offensive? Sure. But, wow, what an excellent point! And it explains why I haven’t posted in a while. I didn’t want to serve my readers a steaming pile of negativity. So, to those of you who read this, thank you for reading. And thank you for being patient while I sorted through some of the negativity. I’ll be back to posting on a regular basis now, and while I can’t promise not to vent or complain on occasion, I can promise there will be far more positive than negative. I’ve decided to take my lunch to a less sh*tty area of the park.

Define Normal Please

I’ve decided to start a blog about my everyday life. Simple enough, right? Just sit down and write what’s going on everyday. Share my thoughts. Relate my experiences. Vent when I’m upset; brag a little when I’m proud; laugh when I’m happy. Hmmm…not so simple after all. Nothing will make you question who you are like starting a blog about your everyday life. What “user name” fits me? What blog name adequately describes to any poor soul who is brave enough, or bored enough, to read what the subject matter will be? What “tag line” gives the reader a glimpse of what’s to come?
You begin to question everything. Who am I? What am I? Why am I doing this? Am I even sane??? Ahhh…there we go. There’s a question I can answer! No. I am not sane. I am a divorced mom of three children ages 10, 6 and 3 who’s life is in a serious state of limbo. There is no way I’m sane.
But really, who is? What is “normal” anyway? What one person defines as normal would be considered completely bizarre to someone else.
I think back to high school English class and remember the words of Mr. Starnes. “Write what you know.” So, here I am. Writing what I know. My life. A life in limbo. A life that many would consider “abnormal” but, to me, seems completely normal. Because after all…what is normal other than a setting on a washing machine?